I said I was Going to

Finally!

Today I published the first pattern and launched the ebook I first dreamed up two years ago.

The Light Reel Cowl went live on Ravelry this morning. And after getting things situated, I added All the Jigs and Reels as a source/ebook. So now I can give an approximate timeline of the patterns:

Light Reel Cowl today (Sept 26, 2018)
Light Jig Tam  Oct 2018 (10th-ish; it's in test knitting currently)
Single Jig Mittens  Dec 2018
Slip Jig Shawl Feb 2019
Treble Reel Toque March 2019
Treble Jig Legwarmers April 2019
Hornpipe Bag May 2019

These are approximate release times; it will depend on my tech editor's workload and how test knits go.

In addition to the patterns listed, which will be sold both in the ebook and singly for those who only want one or two, there are 2 additional patterns that will be exclusive to the ebook. As they are sister designs to two of the above, they'll be released with those patterns. Tentatively that'll make Dec and Feb bonus months ;)

Here's the link to the Light Reel Cowl and to All the Jigs and Reels

That's all my excitement!

TTFN

Big Things in 2018?

I'm nearing the finish line with my fabulous Yarn Quest 2017 "Heroes of Yarnia" scarf. I was keeping up with the MKAL but then something went awry with my knitting brain and I set it aside, and then I jumped back to my design ideas, and now I'm back at the double knitting.

One of the reasons I'm back on the double knitting bandwagon is Ravelry's newish (it came out a few weeks ago) challenge feature. Have you checked it out? There's a tab in your projects and you can set it to however many projects you want and you can adjust it anytime. The cool thing is it pulls your queued projects and WIPs that have deadlines entered for this year so you can see your plans in one spot. That's new too, being able to add deadlines to WIPs or projects that you don't have queued. And it's not just items in your plan that count in your finished tally, anything finished with a finished date in 2018 counts.

So this handy tool has lead to me cleaning up the old WIPs list and setting real goals for my projects. I hibernated a couple things that I'm tempted to frog, but would probably regret doing so. I gave HoY a deadline of Feb 1; more than year since I cast-on. I want to wear it! And I need to stop procrastinating about it. I can happily say I'm 36 charted rows away from finishing :) That feels good.

My reason for the Feb 1 deadline is twofold: A) I want it done and I'm darn close, and B) the Ravellenic Games are just around the corner!

Yes, it's that time and an even numbered year! Ravellenics time! And I've set myself two tasks. The first is to frog, Aerial Unwind ;) , my Find Your Fade shawl. Love the pattern, love the wool (Sock it to Me Dankai) but together they're not doing anything for me. I know there are better pattern fits for the yarn so I'm reclaiming it! Power to the Frog Pond!

And seeing as how I haven't done anything overly insane lately, (and yes, I'm including the whole ebook idea; hang on I have an update on that too!) I went looking for a pattern I bought ages ago. Like 1999-2001. Seriously, ages ago. It was for an Irish dance dress to fit an 18 inch doll. It was in the style of that time too; no drop waist, flouncy skirt for this one. Gorgeous single panel front on the skirt with full skirt behind, an embroidered/Swiss darned border around the edge and cuffs. Very similar to what I'd wear when we got our dresses done when I was dancing with ICoR. So I googled. I went through all 173 pages of knitted doll clothes in the Ravelry database. The pattern and website are nowhere to be found. And seeing as how I'd stayed up all night (it was around 4:30am at this point), I decided I'd design one and use it as my Ravellenics major project. I even have some sparkly yarn just right for the task (Bernat Satin Sparkle, btw; really nice to work with and it's acrylic so sold at Walmart and other easily accesible places). I've even swatched* a few types of pleats to get the shape I want. (*swatching is considered training, as long as you don't cast-on the actual project). As a brief aside, if you're in need of an excellent video tutorial on box pleats, I highly recommend this one from Purls Soho.

I'm going off what I recall the other pattern looking like and what my ICoR dress was shaped like. And I have had a couple requests, so if all goes well the pattern will be made available through Knit-Dance-Repeat Designs on Ravelry. Another appropriate design for my little endeavor :)

Ok, speaking of my little endeavor and goals and planning and all that good and sometimes not so fun stuff! The ebook of designs based on the seven basic solo dances in Irish dance (aka "All the Jigs and Reels") is progressing. I have set myself a goal of having the final 4 prototypes done by June 1st. Then it's tech editing everything and some testknitting and hopefully it'll be released in time for some late summer/early fall knitting time so there are warm woolies ready before the cold hits again. That's the plan at this point in time. And everything is going really well with all the designs except one. No shocker it's a hardshoe dance giving me trouble but it's the treble jig not the reel, unlike dance class! Ha!

The collection consists of a cowl, a tam, mittens (bonus fingerless mitts with this too), a cloak (options for 1 or 2 colors and hood or collar), a toque, and a scarf. All the designs involve cables; the cloak can be done with intarsia (2 color version), the toque has short-rows in the ribbing, and the scarf incorporates double knitting. I just need to find what the treble jig wants to be represented as. At this point, it may be legwarmers. Does anyone besides dancers wear them anymore? The pondering continues as I forge through the swath of knitting that is the body of the cloak. It makes a nice blanket on the lap on these cooler days (-9°C, feels like -17°C with the wind here today) and that with a cuppa tea and my feline supervisors makes it quite cozy :)


Well, dear readers, that's all my news!

TTFN!

Happy New Year, yeah, I know I'm late

Hope 2017 is treating everyone well so far.

I'll start with a roundup of 2016 in knitting:
I completed 27 projects!! That's a personal best that I don't see happening again too soon. Needless to say my stash is more than a little busted after that lol

2016 saw the publishing of three new patterns via my Ravelry shop. And the designing of three more that I hope to release this year (also the seeds of 4 others are currently germinating; stay tuned).

And what's on the go for 2017, you might be asking.

First and foremost, I have those three as yet unpublished patterns and their four friends to introduce to the world. I'm trying to find a charting system that will play nice with Google Docs, which is where I type up my written instructions and all the important information (gauge, size, yarn, etc). I'm trying to cut down the number of files a person needs to download for one of my patterns. Currently my patterns have a file of the written stuff and another for the charts. I'd love to combine them as I think that'll make my ebook easier for knitters rather having to find which chart they need for which design. That's my goal anyway. Once I have that figured out, I'll be putting out a call for test knitters via the Ravelry Test Pool group. Hoping to have the first three patterns up and running before June.

What else am I up to? In my personal knitting, I've decided to focus on color this year. My stranded colorwork is abysmal at best. With that in mind I went looking for something to ease my way into the twisted strands of multicolored projects. Then someone, I'm not remembering who, tweeted the link to an MKAL (mystery knit along). A different kind of an MKAL as it's a "quest" format. And it's being done in double-knitting.

Are you familiar with the technique of double-knitting?  I had learned it some time ago but hadn't thought about it in ages. It's a twist on ribbing or possibly brioche where you're knitting a two sided fabric that mirrors itself. Let me insert a picture to show what I mean:

As you can see, the colors and designs are reversed in both color and facing.  This is done at the same time while knitting in rows. Isn't that neat? I had forgotten about the technique completely until I started reading the thread for the MKAL. This also resulted in me searching for the designer (Tania Richter) and adding a "few" more projects to my queue ;) Do take a look at her designs on Ravelry. She's also on Instagram as @aetherfang

So I've gone down a bit of a rabbit-hole with the Yarn Quest and double-knitting. In my defense, I had to wait for more wool to arrive to start on the next patterns for the series.

So that catches me up on what's going on with my knitting :)

On to health news! And happily there is news to report: I finally got into physio!!! 19 months after injury, 12.5 months after the referral, I finally got in!

I've had two sessions so far and I have a short list of exercises to do at home as well as a list of things not to be doing (looking at you bending forward and sitting longer than 15 minutes at a go). I'm just happy to be moving forward and hopefully getting back to myself sooner rather than never.

And on that happy note, I'm gonna call this post complete :)

TTFN

Not Quite Fall Catch Up and a Sneak Peek

Sorry, it's been a bit since I posted. There's been knitting afoot (not an actual foot, don't worry) and many pieces of graph paper have found their way to the recycle pile after being scribbled upon (Not to self: buy more graph paper).

It's back to school day here on my lovely island. I saw on Facebook that the kids back on the prairies went back the usual 2-3 days before the Long Weekend; still strikes me as nonsensical. I digress. It's the unofficial end of Summer now that they're back to their books and most adults are done with their vacations. Even traffic was quieter this morning when I popped over to the PO before making my way here. Still 16 days before Fall officially gets here but we all know it's creeping ever closer...

Which, of course, brings me to knitting. Because knitting keeps us warm as temperatures dwindle. And knitting is what I do regardless of season/ weather lol.

I'm up to 19 Finished Objects so far this year!!

This year's Ravellenic Games kicked off Aug 5th. The mass cast-on took place at 7:15pm Rio time, which was 7:45pm here; the first time I can recall actually being able to participate in the Mass Cast-on! Although I wasn't online during it; oh well. Maybe in 2 years I can have both. Anywho, I cast on my "Inamorata" and set to work aiming to be finished before Aug 21 and earn medal glory for Team Mine.

Things didn't quite go as planned. First, I completed the bodice on Aug 11, which was excellent. I was well ahead of where I needed to be to finish in time. And then I couldn't find the 4.0mm circular needle I needed to continue the pattern. I went through my needles in the lead up to the Games. I swatched and earmarked the needed needles for the pattern; a 3.75mm for the bodice (twisted sts) and a 4.0mm for the lower part (eyelets). But I could not find the 4.0mm!! It was MIA. My Ravellenics project had to be set aside until the 16th when I could get to Wally World and buy another. (As an aside, after the sweater was done, I was sorting through my circulars and I found 2 24" 4.0mm circulars in the box; Grrrrrrr!) I finished the sweater with 1 day to spare, on Aug 20th. And here it is:

I used Diamond Luxury Collection Fine Merino DK in color 8974, a bluer aqua shade. So I was awarded my medal in the Sweater Triathalon by Bobicus :) I also earned the coveted laurels for cables (the bodice), lace (the eyelets and bottom edging), stash (over 6 months? pooh, this yarn was in my stash more like 5 years!!) and mine (this beauty is mine! all mine! mwahahahah!!). I think I did alright by my team.

My last post, I mentioned a series of patterns my little mind has come up with. The first of the seven is done! And by done, I mean knitting is finished, the picture has been snapped and I have both written and chart forms finished! It's not released yet as I want to have at least half the designs ready so i can have the ebook set up at the same time. Drum-roll, please...

Here it is, the "Light Reel Cowl"!

Moss st and rope cables, in a worsted weight wool (shown in Knit Picks "Wool of the Andes Worsted" color: currant), the Light Reel Cowl is a fairly simple piece to knit. I started knitting it on Aug 20 and cast off on Aug 24; hence FO #19 for 2016!!

I'm calling the series/ ebook "All the Jigs and Reels".  My inspiration is the 7 basic solo dances I learned in Irish dance. I'm going more or less in order of learning, so my first piece is the Light Reel Cowl, the light reel being the first dance learned after, more or less, mastering your 3s and 7s. In the introduction paragraph, I compare 3s and 7s to knit and purls for a dancer; I can be almost poetic at times! The cables are 4sts wide and have a 4rnd repeat; reels are in 4/4 time. And I used 7 repeats of my basic layout to form the cowl circumference; 7s move the dancer from side to side across the practice floor or stage. I might have been stretching with that last one lol.

The second pattern is in the works; I have the knitting roughly half done, as I've been tweaking the rough chart as I knit and making adjustments here and there. It's called the "Light Jig Tam" and features a braid cable (6sts) centered in each of 8 wedges of Moss st; light jigs are in 6/8 time ;) I'm knitting this one top-down in a worsted weight wool and am absolutely in love with both yarn and color (Patons Classic Wool in "royal blue"; very me, very yummy). Unfortunately no pics yet. As soon as I can, I will get a few and share.

Next up will be a project, as yet undecided, inspired by the Single Jig and following that (and rounding out the soft-shoes dances) will be the "Slip Jig Shawl". I'm looking forward to that one!! I love shawls and the slip jig has always been my favorite dance :) I'll round out the series with the three hardshoe basics: treble reel, treble jig and hornpipe. I'm introducing each pattern with a short bit about the dance it gets its name from. I'm hoping to have both functional, knittable designs and educate people on my second love: Irish dance. I think it's a perfect pairing for Knit, Dance, Repeat Designs.

And that, my friends, is all the knitterly (and dancerly) news I have to share with you :) Hope you have lots of wonderful knits ready for the cooler weather!

TTFN

Can You Be Over-Inspired?

I have a feeling I might be. I had an idea that I thought would result in a new pattern. But after looking at how complicated that would be with all I want to do, I split that into 3 design ideas... which then became four...

Long story short: I'm in the midst of 7 new patterns!! One is all ready to be knit and photographed. The others are at various stages.

This is the first time I've had such a cohesive idea and I've decided that besides being available individually, they will also be available as my first e-book, all through my shop on Ravelry; Knit, Dance, Repeat Designs.

I'm kind of hyped up about this, to be honest. It's one of those things that just came together and blasted all the cobwebs out of my head.

I can tell you that the first pattern is for a cabled cowl, knit in worsted weight wool. That's all I'm saying for now.

In other knitting news, the Ravellenic Games are off and running, and I'm hard at work on my "Inamorata" (Mercedes Tarasovich-Clark; Knitty.com) for Team Mine (team of the Selfish Knitters and Crocheters group). I lost 5 days waiting to be able to buy a 4.0mm/US6 circular needle; I swore I had one before the Games started! But, of course, when I come to the point when the knitting moves from the 3.75 to the 4.0, I can't find one! I digress. A new 4.0mm is happily knitting away with some of the lovely Diamond Luxury Collection Fine Merino Superwash DK that's been in my stash since... well it was already deep stash when I moved here almost 4 1/2 years ago, lol. It's color 8974, a greener shade of aqua. Here's my progress pic from Aug 12. Sorry; it's the only one I have so far.

And that, my friends, is where I'm at in everything yarn and knitting :)

TTFN

Off Topic, Sort of. A Dance-y Look at my Health

Off topic in that this post isn't about knitting. On topic because it is about me and my life and that's kind of what this blog's about too, sometimes.

I'm still waiting to get into physio. I think I've mentioned that as an aside a couple times. Thing is, I've been waiting to get in since December *sigh* I'm beyond frustrated with the system at this point.

But I have something behind me that a lot of people don't. I have dance training.

That might not sound like a big thing, but if not for it, I don't know if I'd be walking at all right now. Because my dance training (13 and a half years of actual instruction) gave me the knowledge of the benefits of stretching.

So, I'm putting myself through a slowed down (roughly half an hour to 45 mins) and no bounce version of what we used to do before class. I'm really focusing on sitting up and keeping my posture straight. And I take some of the sideways moves a bit easier on my right side. I'm not trying to make my existing injury any worse!

I was doing some stretching now and then. I wasn't really committed to it though. Now, I'm more driven to do it. I'm starting to believe I'll never get into the physio program at the hospital here and if I don't take care of myself, who will? So, I've stepped it up and I'm making it part of my day. Right up there with my little daily walks.

I'm only into day 2 of my new routine but I already feel better. Like I'm doing something instead of sitting around waiting for something that might never come. Focusing on the positive has never been one of my strong suits (I've often said I'm a realist with pessimistic tendencies) but doing this has me feeling positive :)

From the time I got hurt (last June) until December-ish, I gained roughly 25lbs. I know it was because of going from being active to being a lump. When everything you do, including breathing, hurts you, you tend to not want to do anything. That doesn't mean I was happy about it. In February I started paying better attention to my situation. I determined to start walking a bit every day. That's paid off; I'm down roughly 16lbs!! That has me feeling better too :)

So, that's where I'm at: down about 2/3 of what I absolutely want gone weight-wise, and working on improving my muscle flexibility and a bit of stamina too. I confess, I was trying to do some toe-stands this morning. Which I realize might not be the wisest thing to do in barefeet with one foot having no feeling from the ball up through the toes lol But if I don't try things, how will I know how far I can do? And this is why I'm back to taking my full compliment of meds. I hadn't been taking one of them on a regular basis. But stepping up my activity level and the humidity lately has me back on everything. Better that than pain I could scream from, I say.

So that's it from me today. The sun is shining on my corner of my Island and I'm feeling better than I have in quite awhile.

TTFN

Woot! FOs 16 & 17 Plus News

This post puts me back in "regularily" scheduled posting. Well, maybe not scheduled but the subject matter is back on point. Today I'm updating my knitting news.

I can't remember if I told you that I finished my Zephyr Cove. I did and it turned out really nicely; have a peek:

It took 646 yds and was FO 16 :) I'm on a roll this year!! Also, because I finished this in June, it made me eligible for the draw in the monthly KAL in the Romi group :) And I was one of 2 winners for the month!! I chose the Simee Dimeh pattern as my prize; now I just need to find enough colors to make one!

And there's another FO too! I finished the bag I was designing :) Here is Watch the Clock:

And the special thing about Watch the Clock is, you can knit one too :) I have the pattern for sale on Ravelry as of Tuesday (the 19th of this month). Check out the pattern page on Rav for more details.

Something to add about Watch the Clock: this is the first design I've ever included charts with. I used the incredibly easy and clear Stitch Fiddle to make my charts. I'm so pleased with their site!!  If you need to do any charting, I highly recommend them.

I'm currently working on Vertices (Rosmary (Romi) Hill; Ravelry download) in two colorways of KnitPick Stroll Fingering. For Color 1 I chose "Spectrum Handpainted"; color 2 is "Train Station tonal". It looks like rainbows and storm clouds; hence my project name lol :) This one is a fairly quick knit and the garter st sections are great for tv/ movie watching. It's also an adaptable pattern: it's written for different weights of yarn and you can do options for doing all one color or following the striping. Here's my latest progress pic:

And about sums it up for today :)

TTFN

Thank You

The post I had go up yesterday, was a silly one. The one I'm writing today isn't. I'm writing this on paper; it's around 6:30am NDT on July 1, 2016.

100 years ago this very morning one of, if not the, bloodiest battles of World War I was fought; the Battle of Beaumont Hamel, the first Battle of the Somme.

As I now live in Newfoundland that has special significance. The very fabric of the Dominion of Newfoundland was changed that day. So many young men lost, lives altered. I encourage you to watch any of the specials the CBC has put together; to somewhat understand what it means to the people of this island, that at that time wasn't part of Canada (Canada and Newfoundland were officially united on April 1, 1949). Newfoundland paid a terrible price. Links are at the end of this post.

The causes of WWI (aka The Great War, The War to End War, etc.) are many. The terms imposed against Germany at the Treaty of Versailles on November 11, 1918 in many ways paved the road for WWII. But many people here ask why the first happened at all. Why were those men sent to the slaughter on July 1, 1916?

I'm a rare case amongst my generation: I heard firsthand accounts of WWI as achild from my Grandfather. He was born in Belgium in December 1907. He wasn't yet 7 years old when Germany invaded in 1914. His father died in mid-October, leaving a widow and two small boys, one nearing 7, the other just 3.

My Grandfather and his younger brother ages 4 and about 6 months; spring 1912?

WWI wasn't something I just heard as a footnote to WWII to school, it was part and parcel of my Grandfather's childhood, much the same as the Depression was to my maternal Grandfather's.

There's no excuse for the men of the Newfoundland Regiment to have been sent over the top that day. The British commanders had word that the Germans knew about their plans and deeply entrenched on their side; it shouldn't have happened.

But there was a reason those men were there. For most it probably had more to do with the paypacket than any idea of "King and country". I'm sure some were aware that innocent people had had their homeland invaded, and the thought of their own wives and children/ mother and siblings/ grannies and sweethearts in that situation was enough to want to do something about it.

Simply stated, if the combined British, Irish, Scottish, Newfoundland, Canadian and American troops hadn't gone over, I for one, wouldn't be here today.

Today has dawned with bird song, a brilliant blue sky and puffy white clouds. Later, I will join others in remembrance of a horrific event that changed the lives of every family on this island I now call home. It almost feels odd for it to be so peaceful this morning. Today, while Newfoundlanders remember their fallen, I'm thinking of a boy who was 8 years old 100 years ago today, already the man of the house. And I'm remembering one of the most important things he ever told me, some 70 years later: when others are remembering their loss, we must remember to say "Thank you".

Thank You

Newfoundland at Armageddon
Trail of the Caribou

One Day I'll Be Drummed Out of Canada

Let me start by saying this post doesn't concern either my knitting or the furry members of my family. Weird, right?

This post got its start because Roomie said something about buying Kraft Dinner next payday, and I internally cringed. I intensely dislike KD; the watery, supposedly "cheese" sauce makes me want to gag. And then I started thinking about all the things that Canadians are supposed to like or do that I don't.

First is my aforementioned dislike of KD, which people seem to think of as our national dish.

Secondly, I don't "do" maple. Period. Not in syrup. Not in oatmeal. Not in doughnuts. Nope, not for me. And before you suggest I can't stomach the sweetness, as a kid I used to sneak mouthfuls of corn syrup. And I can drink Purity syrup (a Newfoundland staple) straight, without mixing it with water. I can handle sweet. I just don't get the big deal about maple. It's tree sap, people; why not go lick a birch or elm and see what that tastes like?

Further evidence I'll be thrown out: I don't like Tim Horton's. Not the doughnuts. Definitely not the coffee (to be fair, I don't like any coffee). And that steeped tea? It should be listed as a crime against teas!! I can walk be a Timmie's without a problem; no temptation for me at all. And that *has* to be un-Canadian, doesn't it?

Ok, enough food reasons to throw me out on my kiester, what else?

I did not get on the Blue Jays bandwagon last year. I don't care if they're the only Canadian team in MLB, I will never cheer for them. Bring back the Expos and I might start rooting for a Northern team. Until then, Go, Twins!!

I do not insert the letter and/or sound "eh" into my sentences while speaking. Actually, the only person I recall ever doing this was an old fella who said "Eh?" instead of "Pardon?" when he couldn't hear what someone said. Oh, and Bob and Doug Mackenzie, but that's shtick.

I never found "Due South" funny. Paul Gross is an amazing actor, don't get me wrong. He's been brilliant in both big and small screen projects (his role as Kevin Crocker on "Republic of Doyle" comes to mind). But "Due South"? Nope, not even a brilliant actor could save that one for me.

I don't understand the obsession with bacon. Ok, in my defense, I'm actually allergic to anything coming from a pig: porkchops, bacon, whatever you list can be spelled p-o-i-s-o-n to me. So, yeah, bacon-topped everything just doesn't appeal. Anyone for a nice turkey drumstick?

And that last one brought us back to food lol Funny how that happens, isn't it? We're a nation that thinks with our stomachs.

Or our throats, because that reminds me of something else: beer. I cannot drink beer; I can't get passed the smell. Beer, to me, is gross. And it's not like I'm some teetotaler; I drink on a fairly regular basis when I go out. I usually go for a rum and cola, a pina colada if I'm feeling festive. Or a whiskey*, neat, if it's been that kind of day/week. (* in my mind there is only one whiskey: Jameson. on less than a handful of times I have allowed Bushmills to pass my lips. That's it; after all, it was a bottle of Jameson that awoke poor Finnegan at his wake ;) ) Give me a shot of Screech, a bottle of Schnapps (peppermint preferably, but peach or butter ripple have their place), etc. But not beer. Call me un-Canadian or what have you, this girl is not a beer drinker.

Hmm. what else? I watch hockey; I even cheer for a Canadien team ;) (see what I did there?) The Holiday Season is not complete without hearing Bob and Doug Mackenzie's "12 Days of Christmas" at least once. And since they've decided to change lyrics in "Oh Canada" to make it "more inclusive", I say we scrap it and replace it with either The Arrogant Worms' "Canada is Really Big" or "We Are the Beaver". Either would provide us with a majestic anthem at the Olympics or other international sporting events.

On the basis of these points, I might be allowed to stay (I say might, because I'm pretty sure the whole beer, bacon and Tim Horton's segments of the population are gonna lobby to have me tossed.). I'm hopeful anyway. Lucky thing St. Pierre and Miquelon are only 25 clicks off the coast from here; I hear a lot of expatriots wind up in France... and they have rum. This could work in my favor...

If one day I do get drummed out


P.S. Happy Birthday, dear Canada, from a 2nd generationer (Dad's side), and immigrant's daughter (1st generation; Mum's side) who did the unthinkable and moved east from out West and didn't stop in Ontario, instead plunking herself on this lovely Rock, even though she still can't swim


P.S.S I wasn't kidding; "Canada is Really Big" or "We Are the Beaver" should be made the anthem. Have a listen and tell me what you think; personally I'm leaning a bit more towards "Canada is Really Big"
Canada is Really Big
We Are the Beaver  

Gratuitous Cuteness!!

And now you understand the title of this post. I took this last night, as I finally added Maureen's Blankie as a project on Ravelry. And I can't have a picture of Blankie without Little Miss, now can I? 

So here she is, Miss Maureen age 18 with her Blankie which, as well as I can remember, was knit back in October 1998. It's actually the oldest FO I have on Rav! 

I've updated the Patterns page so all the web-based patterns now have links directly to them :) And I've updated the blogs and other websites in the sideboard too. Busy morning!!

And with that, I'm off to continue with the designing of a certain bag pattern; around 1:15am NDT today, I think I hit upon the right way to do what I hope to do with this pattern.

TTFN

General Chitchat; Spring Cleaning

I composed a tweet the other day that I couldn't send due to my phone still not being fixed yet. It read "Peace= a mug of Read My Lips tea from @DAVIDSTEA + a beautiful shawl pattern by @RomiDesigns being knit in pretty yarn from @KnitPicks + 3 sleeping cats + sunshine" It really summed up my quiet morning: tea, knitting, cats and sunshine.

This afternoon, I'm knitting on my "Ardrum" in the lovely merino/silk blend I chose ages ago and enjoying a nice mug of tea (Toasted Walnut this time; I had some Apple Custard earlier). The cats are doing their cat things.

I finished the "Alcyone" I was working on, plus a little bag I started back in 2012. I'm not sure why I set it aside when all I had left on it was the handles. Oh well, it's done now; a charming little bag called "Leafy Knot Clutch" (Veronik Avery; book "24/7 Knitting"). I'm down to 2 WIPs: my "Ardrum" and the bag I'm designing. Which is odd for me, but I've really finished up a lot of things so far this year. 14 FOs since January; I'm pretty sure that's a record for me! There might be 1 or 2 more that I can move from "hibernating" status to active WIPs but I'm really getting things caught up. I guess spending my days sitting on my butt can be useful ;)

Friday (June 10) was the one year mark since "The Big Fall". In that time, I've progressed from excruciating pain and fear of what might be wrong with me to quiet acceptance that pain reminds me not to overdo things and my balance is bad and I need to use a cane especially out of the house. I'm still trying to get into physio but the new idiot system is more frustrating than the waiting was! But it is what it is and I can't change it. I'm trying to walk 5 days a week, even if it's just to the Post Office and back (roughly 1 kilometer, round trip). I take my pills, do what I can around the house. And I knit. And compose blogposts on paper that I can type up when I go to the library next ;)

I've been doing that a lot lately; blogging on paper. Some may find their way here, others won't. I have a feeling I'll hang onto them either way. They're good for a laugh if nothing else!

I plan on revamping my page of "Patterns Mentioned in this Blog" soon. Direct links for the web-based ones, like those published on Knitty.com, for sure. The Ravelry downloads, I think I'll just leave as they are. Same with those from books and magazines. I need to clean up the blogs and other links too. Freshen things up now that Spring appears to be approaching my lovely Rock in the sea.

So, be on the lookout for some minor tweaks to this blog and let me know if there's anything you'd like to see here. As always, you can check out more details of my knitting projects on Ravelry; find me there as knit-dance-repeat ;)

TTFN

I Have Pictures!!! And other news

I know things have been a bit dull around here. All my project talk with no pictures. Today I'm correcting that!! I has pictures to post of most of my lovelies of this year :)

First up, a shot of me wearing my "January Amusement"

This beauty (the sweater; please ignore the model) is my rendition of Jordana Paige's "Amused". Turned out fabulous and only took me 8 days to knit!!

Next up are three pics of my "Gansey-style Bunnyhug" ("East Nuek Hoodie by Kristin Orne) :)
First, the front:

 

The back (all the patterning is expanded from what would've been in the hood section):

And finally, the detail of the neckline, since I had to alter it in removing the hood. Also it shows off the adorable snowflake buttons I used ;) (Truest color of these is the first one)

My Habs scarf isn't as red and white as I'd have liked this season but I did finish it off rather nicely as shown in the next 2 pics:

That border just gives it some punch, right?

I mentioned knitting a quilt block. Here's the photographic evidence:

And, yes, I do have a classic car block on my wall.

This brings me to the latest projects, 2 of which are FOs!!

First is the one I called "Mitties" ("Hidden Gusset" by Mona Drager in the First Fall 2014 edition of knitty.com). So quick!! I started one evening (May 27 to be exact) and finished the next afternoon! The pic shows them in progress:

And then I turned around and knit a second pair for K:

Mine were from an ancient ball of Opal I've had in the stash since... I'm not sure when lol! K's were done in Bernat Sox.

And my latest pretty, as I believe I mentioned last time I posted, is Romi Hill's "Alcyone" (project name "Back to the Future") :) I'm just over the halfway point :) Much less in the pic but it gives you the idea:

The yarn is KnitPicks Hawthorne Kettle Dyed in "Delphinium"; it ranges from blues into blue-purples. And depending on the light it looks really purple :) Loving it!

And you might've noticed by the title that I have news...

New pattern in my Ravelry shop as of about an hour and a half ago :) It's a trivet and coasters set that I called "Garden Blooms". A quick little something to use up some cotton I have in the stash and I think it's pretty cute. 

So that's all the pics and news caught up :)

TTFN

An FO and some ruminations

Woot! Another FO to report for 2016 :) I knit a pair of "Hidden Gusset" (Mone Drager, knitty.com) between Friday and Saturday. Love them! So quick to do and they look pretty good. They're in my Rav projects under "Mitties"

And I'm happily organizing my projects for the June KAL in Rosemary Hill's Rav group. I'm taking another run at "Alcyone" in a more tonal yarn (Knit Picks Hawthorne Kettle Dye in Delphinium) to not obscure the pattern and thinking about "Verdigris" (Rosemary Hill, knitty.com) as well.

I really liked the first set of fingerless mitts I knit, and with walking with my cane, I find my hand gets chilled easily. I'm quietly amassing a bit of a sub-queue of fingerless mitts! lol Not a bad thing, I'm thinking.

The weather seems to getting Spring-like here in Newfoundland :) Not overly sunny today but definitely warming up after the past couple days of rain.

In kitty news, we're gearing up for a big birthday on Saturday. Miss Maureen Mavourneen turns the big 1-8!! I can't believe it, my ghirlie will be old enough to vote! (And she's probably smart enough to, given the general state of the electorate)

And the Ravellenic Games 2016 organizing is apparently underway :) Thread started a month ago; I found it today lol August is shaping up to be a good time :) Can't wait to see what teams are in this year and what events I can participate in. Gonna be fun!! :)

TTFN

Meditative Thoughts... or Are They?

It's funny how as you age, things that used to annoy you to the point of throwing things now offer an almost meditative calm. Take the lovely hank of handpainted merino I've been trying to untangle since last year sometime. I spent hours the past few days just quietly working through the tangles and loops and instead of getting frustrated like I normally would, I found focusing on the lovely shades of gray very soothing.

I've always disliked the whole "knitting is the new Yoga" comments. Probably because I dislike Yoga. I gave it, I think, a fair shot. I attended beginner sessions on two very separate occasions (with different instructors, even), mostly to see what friends were talking about. I really didn't like it. Really didn't. Not my cup of tea at all. So, those comments have always irked me. Right down to the core of my being. So no fears, this isn't going to turn into one of "those" posts. Just the thought has my teeth on edge, to be honest.

No, I think I've hit upon something about myself. Perhaps, just maybe, in some small way, I'm becoming a calmer and less reactive person. Where I normally would've pitched the tangle at a wall and stuffed it back into the zippered plastic bag after 5 or 10 minutes, I had the patience to sit with it and nudge it through and around and watch the two little balls I've started at each end get bigger and bigger. Add in the purrs of my nearly 18 year old cat and it was a very Zen-like afternoon.

I should add to this that my physical health is not at it's optimum just now. I have the sore sinuses and razorblade coated throat that mean Spring is upon us. And of course, all the aches and heaviness of limbs that goes with those. So sitting quietly is just what I needed; really it was almost all I could do. Maybe that's were the patience came from? The knowing I didn't have the energy to do anything else.

And it could be that I'm over-analyzing my time spent with a tangle of lovely merino yarn and my cat. That's equally possible too.

TTFN

I promised a project round-up...

And here it is :) I'll start with my FO's for 2016 (so far) and go from there.

First project finished this year was my "January Amusement". This was a reknit of Jordana Paige's "Amused" (Knitty, Winter 2008) since I was unable to finish the other one I started. I used 980 yds of Red Heart Comfort, color Jade. Love how this turned out :) It's very cozy. I did modify it slightly in that I made the front opening a bit deeper so it wasn't at the widest point of my bust and I also added an inch's worth of sts into the sides, under the arms, to allow a little more ease for the girls as well. Started January 6 and finished the 14th! As I said, love how this turned out :)

Next up was my "Hap-Hazard" (my head; not available until I get a few bugs worked out). I used 879 yds of Bernat Satin Sparkle in Amethyst for this one. I like how it turned out for the most part but it needs a few tweaks here and there. And a reknit in a blockable fiber! I think that's the main thing with this one. I finished it on February 2.

I decided to give myself a wee challenge on this next one. My "Gansey Style Bunnyhug" ("East Neuk Hoodie" by Kristin Orme, Knit Scene Fall 2014) took 1700 yds of Bernat Satin in Lavender. This one I modified right from the get go. First, the hood wasn't happening. And since the back was plain, I moved the patterns from the back of the hood to the back of the sweater. This one took me a little longer (started February 6, finished March 7) but was well worth the wait :) This has quickly become my favorite thing to pull on if I feel a little chill at home or want an extra layer under my jacket when I head out.

"My Preciousss"  started in September as my entry for that month's Rominette's KAL, the goal being to knit with some yarn you'd been saving/hoarding for whatever reason. I chose the skein that Lindsay hand-dyed for my birthday a few years back. Originally, I cast on Romi's "Alcyone", a lovely pattern that was getting lost in the color changes. *sigh* Then I cast on Romi's "Diane"; much better :) I have no idea what the yardage of the yarn was though. I knit more wedges (13 instead of the pattern stated 9) and used 58g of the 101g skein. That says to me I had a lot more than the assumed 410-420yds in the skein! Maybe it was a finer weight than I thought? Anyway, it looks marvelous and I finished it on March 30 :)

I completed my "2015-16 CrackerHabs" ("Crackerjack" by Stacey Simpson Duke, Ravelry download) scarf on April 10, the day after the Canadiens' final game of the season. Unfortunately, no playoffs for the Boys this season :( That kind of bummed me out, after the way the season started. I digress. After knitting the last game rnds, I did a single black purl ridge. Keeping the black as my background color and adding in red for the pattern, I knit in the words "Habs 2015-16", followed by a single ridge of black and ended it with the same border I used to start the piece (working flat): 2 rows of each color: red, white, blue, white, red.

Have I quit knitting since April? No, I've knit a few gifty things that I won't get into in case certain parties are reading ;) And I've been trying to get a bag (tentatively called "Watch the Clock") and a sweater (por moi, s'il vous plait lol) out of my wee little head and onto the needles/ pages of my design notebook. Also have been getting in a few rows on my "Kinelea Lace" as mentioned in my last post.

So that's how my 2016 has been shaping up in the knitting world. Hope your's is going along well, too :)

TTFN

How to Knit 9 rows of a Lace Scarf

Check where you left off in patt, knit 3 rows. Wonder why things look “not right”. Discover marker is now on the BACK of your garter st lace and you had originally placed it on the FRONT. Sigh loudly and mutter curses under your breath as you tink 4 rows. Reknit those 4 rows, examining each and every st you make. Knit 6 more rows, being equally watchful. Decide you’re not up to tempting fate anymore for one day. Result: piece is 9 rows longer than when you took it out of the project bag.

This is my latest update on my Kinelea Lace (Ardrum Scarf by Aisling M. Doonan). It was not going so well the other day.

In other news, my phone is broken and not looking like it'll be fixed anytime soon. This being off/ out of work thing really sucks. All attempts at funding for retraining have bottomed out, so I'm trying to find work that I'm qualified for and doesn't involve standing for long periods or bending/lifting... in other words, the incredible non-existent job *sigh* I digress.

Although I don't have photos I will make an attempt to post about all the various projects I've been working at; lots of FOs! Not today but soon I promise.

That's all for today. Best Stitches and happy Thursday!

TTFN

It's Wednesday...

That seemed like a good reason to post. Am home after my trip to Town, Monday, for the MRI. Results should be at my dr a week to 10 days after the scan; roughly mid-November.

It was a decent trip in and I liked doing a bit of exploring on my own, even with my waddling with a cane. I noticed I was getting tired quickly though. Thank goodness there's benches around Town. I managed to (finally) get to COCO, which was a lovely treat yesterday morning :) And I stopped at the David's Tea in the Av mall for a cup of chocolate macaroon while I waited for the taxi to come back home. All in all, a decent trip but it sure was nice to sleep in my own bed last night with the furries around me.

On the knitting side, I'm up to row 13 on the edging of my Carson. This is a row I've decided to add beads on so taking a bit of time to get it done. Brought it with me to Town to work on at the the hostel but I found it difficult to concentrate as my back wasn't happy. Most recent pic:

What I did work on in the taxi is a new little something off the top of my head that I'm tentatively calling "Hap-Hazard". No beads so it was much more travel friendly than Carson is at this point. I put a sneak peek on Instagram, so here it is for you too:

I treated myself to a New York Fries poutine when I got to Town on Monday.

So, that's all the news that's fit to print at this point!

TTFN

A Knitting Front Round-Up

Yesterday, I explained my health situation and I mentioned that I've been knitting quite a bit during this whole thing. So, I figured today I'd do a bit of a rundown of what I've been working on and where I'm at with various projects. There's even two (count 'em: 2!!) FOs to report ;)

Back in May, I started a second Carson (Romi Hill). If you've read my posts, you're familiar with my first one getting lost in the aftermath of our little flood. So, this is kind of a replacement but it's such a beautiful design that I just really wanted a finished one.

The purple is a hand-dyed with a sparkly strand spun into it that I bought while living in Regina, at the now closed (sob!!) Golden Willow. The black is KnitPicks Stroll Glimmer so that both yarns are shimmery shiny. I'm up to the lace edge on this one and I've chosen to take the shimmer and factor up a notch by adding in beads! I need my head examined lol But it's looking good and that's what I want.

Here's a view of the two yarns and the first row of beads. Progress is coming along on this beauty :)

In June, Romi Hill released the first of her 'Asymmetry' small shawls series. I love her little series; I have 3 of the 5. The first design is called "Purless", an all knit piece. It really spoke to me so I cast on with some KnitPicks Stroll Tonal in 'canopy' my dear friend Susie gave me ages ago. I think I was less than two weeks knitting it. What a sweet and quick little piece! And it works with a variety of yarn weights. Good for gifting, hint hint ;)

A few in progress shots and the finished object (Told ya I had FOs). I still haven't blocked her but I'm really pleased with how it turned out :)

My second June start was a second Purless. Remember I mentioned it can be knit in various yarn weights? I found a brilliant colorway of Patons Canadiana and immediately knew it was for Roomie's birthday gift. And after how easily I finished my Purless, I thought it was just the ticket. I started near the end of June and by mid-July I had it done :) Had to wait til she was out of town on a visit to block it but it turned out really well :)

Hmm, in a display of technology doesn't like Síle, I can't find the finished picture. But it is on Ravelry, dear knitters. The project is called 'Shoe Girls' and is under my 2015 tab as well as a few others.

In July, I started getting bored only being able to knit. I know, I know: how many times have any of us said that we want unlimited knitting time? Or that that's all we would do if we could? We've all said it at some time or other. I learned the truth isn't nearly as fun. Everything just felt like a chore and after finishing the second Purless, I didn't touch my needles for about a week. Then one evening I was watching "Princess Bride" (YTV saving Saturday night tv!!) and it struck me that what I wanted was something simple, almost thoughtless. I grabbed a skein of the Bernat Satin Shimmers I had bought (color is Amethyst; my birthstone) and cast on a Clapotis (Knitty.com). I haven't really worked on it since that evening, but it was just what I needed to relax my brain and hands. I have it hibernating in one of the project bags on the back of my door. If I need it, it's there.

In August I was having some difficulties. The tendinitis in my left shoulder flared up, leaving me unable to knit for a few days. I'd do a bit on Carson, and I cast on and frogged a few things. Nothing seemed right. The September KAL on the Romi Hill group on Ravelry was to knit with a yarn that is Preciousss to you. I've had this lovely hank of hand-dyed from Lindsay for awhile. She dyed it for my birthday so it's a one of a kind thing; it is my Preciousss yarn.

I cast on for Alcyone. Love the pattern and the yarn is gorgeous but the colors in the yarn were muddying the lace pattern. I set it aside. I still want to make something with this yarn now that it's caked. I frogged the Alcyone and am now looking at Diane (Romi Hill) as a possibility.

Also in September, I decided it was time I had a new sweater. And I have six balls of lovely green Red Heart Soft Touch that Roomie gave me. Hmm... My search led me to 'Amused' (Knitty.com); top-down with clever reversible cables at the collar and plackets, perfect for fall layering. Sold! I happily started my sweater :) But after I joined and started in the round, I discovered a problem. A big one. The other 5 balls of yarn were missing. Not in any of the stash in my room and I tore through my few remaining things in the basement: no more lovely green yarn :( I wanted to cry. I haven't frogged it and I set the project page to hibernate. If I can find more of that color at Walmart, I will finish it. I really want that sweater!! *sigh* I so rarely go for a big project like a sweater so it's a real blow. Hopefully I find more of the green.

October is upon us and boy is there a bite in the air today! We're at 5C, 2C with wind and what not factored in. Second rainy cold day; autumn or rather pre-Winter is here.

My start project this month is one that will take me the better part of a year to complete. I was looking for hockey themed knits and I happened across the pattern "Crackerjack". Originally conceived for the baseball fan, it's been adopted and adapted by fans of other sports. The basic premise is simple: a win/lose record of your favorite team's season. I started with a little border in Garter st before joining in the round, and I've happily knit 4 rounds for every game  (one game got 5 rnds as we had a shutout :)) my Montréal Canadiens have played so far. I chose 4 colors to represent away wins, away loses, home wins and home loses. And I went with 4 rnds per game in honor of the late #4 Jean Beliveau. Fitting, I thought. So after every game, I knit my 4 rnds with the appropriate color and by season's end I'm gonna have one heck of a scarf! Which is cool, because a scarf is something I can use. Unlike hats which I never wear or mitts that I always seem to lose.

If you'd like more details on any of my projects, visit my notebook on Ravelry; I'm knit-dance-repeat :) And until I can get the other pics to work here, all my good project photos are there as well. You can also follow my progress on Instagram; I'm the imaginatively named knittingsile ;)

That was quite a round-up today! Now maybe I won't take so long between posts lol

TTFN

(edited 6:19pm NDT: pictures are working again :) )

A Post I Never Imagined Writing

Once again, it's been awhile. There's been a lot going on since my last post and I think I'm finally ready to set it all out. There's been a lot to process; there's more to come that I can't imagine yet.

I last posted the happy news that my Isabella Duncan shawl pattern is available for purchase through Ravelry. That was in May.

I woke up on the 12th of June and knew immediately something wasn't right. My arms and legs were shaking. Not shivering, shaking. Despite the lack of light at 4am, I could see them moving without my permission. I shut off my alarm and laid back down, hoping whatever was going on would pass off.

It didn't. At around 5, I unsteadily got to my feet beside the bed (at this point still figuring I'd be going to work), and promptly found myself sprawled on the floor.  The shaking was so bad I couldn't stand up on my own.

Lucky for me, my roommate heard my collapse and rushed in to see what had happened. She found me sprawled on floor, face first. Had I tripped? Slipped? She asked as she helped me get back into bed. Are you cold? My answer to all these questions was the same: No.

After catching my breath and realizing I was still shaking, I called work to say I wouldn't be there. I explained I had just collapsed on the floor.

I waited a few hours to go to the hospital. I didn't want to risk falling again and the thought of trying to go downstairs frightened me.

There was the usual wait at the ER. As I explained to the triage/admissions nurses what I was experiencing, they did a finger prick bloodtest to check my blood sugars; they were normal. There were also the standard blood pressure and temperature readings. All normal.

About 2 hours after that I was called in to sit inside the ER and probably 20 minutes after that I saw the doctor. As everything was normal and the shaking was subsiding, I was declared dehydrated, given a note for work and told to go home and rest and drink lots of water. That was it. No xray for the fall. No further blood work. "If it happens again, come back." Not even told to follow up with my own doctor.

I dropped off the note at work and went home. I drank lots of water and pretty much parked on the couch watching tv all day. Afterall, that was doctor's orders.

Next morning, I was back at work. By the end of my shift, I could feel something odd in my lower back. That was all; just an odd feeling, like a lump. But when I felt with my hand, there wasn't anything there.

Within a week that lump feeling intensified. It became a ball, sitting in my back and it would shift, pressing into my spine and causing pain to shoot down into my upper legs and up almost to my shoulders. And once the pain shot down, a stiffness would come over my legs, from my hips almost to my knees. At the same time I noticed my first toe next to my big toe on my right foot was loosing feeling. It wasn't changing color, so I knew that blood was getting to it, but it was numb.

I called and made an appointment with my doctor.

The pain continued to increase, the stiffness lasted longer and there were days I could all but waddle to get home after work. I went from walking up to work in 15 minutes in the morning, to it taking 30minutes to get home again.

My doctor prescribed anti-inflammatories and ordered bloodwork and x-rays.  She was not pleased to see the lack of tests done when I was at ER. She could not believe the assessment of the ER doctor. But now things would be looked at; time to move forward.

My blood work came back with high levels of enzymes in my liver. Not surprising given my admission of taking more than the recommended amount of acetaminophen to try and dull the pain while at work. Nothing else was on the blood work and the xray was clear. I was prescribed muscle relaxants in addition to the anti-inflammatories and a request for a CT scan was put in, as well as for an MRI. My doctor believed I had two things going on: a back injury from the fall and something going on with my nervous system that caused the shaking (that caused the fall) in the first place. And most likely the numbness that was now in my two middle toes on my right foot and starting to happen in one toe on my left foot.

While waiting for the scan, my inability to move increased and decreased daily. Some days I made it a couple hours into my shift still able to walk and bend; other days I couldn't stand without holding onto the counter after 20 minutes. My coworkers wondered at my sanity being there at all.

The CT scan revealed a protruding disc in my back; definitely the culprit causing my back pain and the "ball" shifting around in there.  A request to be seen by a spinal specialist was sent in. And I was medically removed from working.

I settled into a sort of home routine based on how well I could get around on a given day. The days I could get to the living room/kitchen, I did simple things like wash dishes and put out food for the cats. The days I felt too precarious to try the stairs, I hung out in my room and knit or read. The days I was in too much pain to sit up, I lay in bed and watched the world from social media on my phone.

It wasn't long after that I began developing nerve pain. What an innocent sounding term. It's different for each person, but all agree it's horrible. Mine is akin to cattle prods, I figure 20-50 of them depending on the day, being applied all at once to the bottom of my feet, and set off altogether every few seconds. Most times the pain ends around my ankles, but there's always a few that go right up to my knee, at times my hip. I looked it up online and saw that vitamin D helps; I had some calcium with vitamin D pills so started taking them.

By this time, the numbness had taken over all four small toes on my right foot and the bottom of my big toe as well. On my left foot, the toe next to the big toe was also numb and the middle one was like a blinking Christmas tree light; one day normal, gone the next.

With the increased numbness and nerve pain, I started having the weird feeling of water being poured on my right thigh. The first time it happened, I thought I knocked over my glass of water, but my leg wasn't wet. A few days later, it happened again; I didn't have a glass of water. It happened every few days or so and never lasted more than about five minutes. Just another thing to get used to.

I received the letter about my MRI: October 26, 2015. This was July. It's the hurry up and wait so common in health care these days. You jump through hoops waiting for the appointment and then get to wait some more for it to actually arrive.

I had a doctor's appointment not long after. I described the increased numbness and then I mentioned the weird water on my leg feeling. My doctor was concerned. That odd feeling is a phantom sensation, a definite sign of nerve damage. She made note of it on my file and confirmed that I had my MRI appointment. And she told me that the best treatment for the nerve pain was vitamin D; she recommended 2000IU in the morning and in the evening. If the pain increased, it was safe to take more in between to help ease it.

I did ok through August and most of September. I got the letter for the appointment with the spinal specialist/surgeon: December 16, 2015. Another hurry up and wait, but I've come to expect that.

My bad days have been increasing. There have been days recently that I could not walk without holding onto walls. Even that didn't feel entirely safe. The phantom sensation has worsened; it now feels like hot water poured on that spot, followed by burning that lasts anywhere from 20 minutes to 3 hours. It happened most frequently at night but no time is really a safe time from it.

Last Tuesday, I bought a cane. I don't want to fall and injure my back worse or have anything else injured. I'm no faster walking with it but I'm a bit steadier. And that little bit of safety is helping. I'm able to get up and do a bit more for myself. To feel normal and not useless.

That's really been the worst of it all. The emotional side of it. Feeling helpless and useless. Knowing that six months ago, I could walk anywhere, dance, had no physical restrictions on me or what I wanted to do. I could walk to work, literally run around for 8 hours, walk home and put on my dance shoes for an hour or so and feel accomplished. Now I'm doing good if I can get from my bedroom to the couch.

There have been more times than I care to admit that I've just burst into tears out of frustration with it all. What is this and why is it happening? Can I be fixed? I'm most likely not going to be able to return to the sort of jobs I've always done (retail or food service), so if I'm able to work again, I'll need to retrain. For what, I don't know. The thought of an office job has never appealed to me. But the thought of not being able to look after myself scares me enough to think about it.

I hate this whole situation so much. Half my identity has been as a dancer. Not much of a dancer if I can't even walk. And exactly what do you do when half your identity disappears? Pretend you never were? Act like it doesn't matter even though all you really want is to put on those shoes and perform again?

So here I sit. Plagued by the thoughts of what was and what might never be again. The MRI is in 8 days. I'm not sure when the results will be in. There's times I wonder if I really want the answers. Same with the appointment with the specialist; do I want to know the answers? But life moves forward and I'll get the answers. Whether they'll be something I want to hear or not is another story. Another story for another day.

So that's my catch up post. I'll do a run down of the knitting I've been doing since that's about the only useful thing I can do during all this. Pictures and FOS! And a lot of WIPs. Maybe I'll start writing with more regularity. I said maybe; this *is* still me afterall.

TTFN

Live on Ravelry!

Announcing the return to the stage of  Isadora Duncan...

Ok, not really. But my new pattern, Isadora Duncan, is available on Ravelry this afternoon :)

That's my big news :) My first for sale pattern is up and I'm feeling pretty good about it. In fact, I think I'll celebrate with a Pepsi and a few rippled chips ;) I'm a classy gal afterall

TTFN :)